Reverse Culture Shock

Upon returning to the US after living in Germany for just under 5 years, I knew that I might have a hard time dealing with some of the differences in lifestyle/what is considered “normal”. Here are my top 10 so far:

1.     The most important shock I knew I’d LOVE is the GIGANTIC parking spaces in the US. People, you have no idea how luxurious it is to get out of your car and not have to squeeze past the door of your own small car in order to not hit the car next door or a pillar in a parking garage. Whee! That said, we are pretty wasteful with our massive US cars! But the comfort and joy of parking spots is tremendous.

Ours is the middle vehicle. When I parked there were NO OTHER cars nearby. This is what I saw when I came out of the store in Syracuse, NY!!!!! I honestly thought: "am I on candid camera?" 

2.     “Rats, I forgot to go to the pet food store” on a Sunday afternoon...until I realized that I COULD GO IF I WANTED TO! I got used to not being able to shop at all on Sundays, which is usually a good thing in Germany. Workers have more rights in Europe, so it’s a shock to see nearly every store open here on Sundays.

3.     We can really get things done quickly here sometimes. Our internet seemed fine on our phones, but I was not able to livestream my classes in our new house, so we had to get connectivity quickly. I don’t know who he talked with or how much it cost (burying head in snow instead of sand), but when I threatened to quit school because I couldn’t get anything done online, we had 100% internet the next day. It took weeks in Germany to get cable/internet at home after we ordered it.

4.     I don’t like how a lot of food tastes here. I am trying new grocery stores, restaurants, and even the ubiquitous gas station shops and have found a wide range of quality and flavor available. Not that I loved all the food in Europe, but quality here seems to be more of the “quantity” variety- I don’t need huge portions of so-so food.

Grocery store pre-cooked food is pretty good in the USA!

5.     I had really been looking forward to having mail delivered to our house- that is something I really missed in Germany (military folks have a P.O. box on base/post near where the military member works, and the benefit is that only U.S. postage is required even to send something to Europe). However, we managed to pick one house – out of the 13 looked at- that does not have home delivery. Our village has a Post Office and everyone has a P.O. box.

not at our house, but a good idea!

6.     How many kinds of Charmin toilet paper are there? More than one, I tell you. When I worked as a MFLC (Military & Family Life Consultant), I gave post-deployment briefings where one of the things mentioned was reverse culture shock. I heard from military members that they would look in the cereal aisle with amazement after deployment because there are so many choices. This is what I felt like in the toilet paper aisle. We were told by our land lady in Germany that we could not use American toilet paper because it would clog the drains, so we used the OK German kind. I was really looking forward the Charmin. So I bought some here and was happy as a clam (why are clams happy?). Then I bought another package but it was not the same as the first kind- it was an inferior quality knock off. Huh? Then I saw a coupon in the newspaper that had yet another kind of Charmin- gah! I now learned how to tell which color background on the Charmin package is the "right one" for me!

view from our rest room recently

7.     Short church services. “What?”, you say? I have pretty much always experienced a one-hour church service, with occasionally longer for special events, etc. Is it a northern NY thing to have 3 different services run between 40-50 minutes including communion? I have been in Bible studies for the past 5 years that are 1.5 hours long (and we have to stop the discussion, it could go on)!

8.     Good customer service. Not 100% here, but better than for the last 5 years. We were comparison shopping for home appliances and one store didn’t offer a 10% military discount but said if we opened a store card then we would get 10% back in store credit. A nearby store that does offer a military discount said that their appliances were already discounted 10% and they could not give a double discount. When I stated the other store’s 10% reduction on the same price, the second store said the manager would meet the first store’s price. Interesting!

peeps still in Europe will especially appreciate magnets on a magnetic surface!

9.     Finding stuff I did not know I needed. True confessions, I did not iron anything for 5 years. I had a nice laundry area in our Massachusetts basement, and I ironed every week for nearly an hour. I got a German iron from an American who was moving away when we arrived in Germany, and I just never used it. Most of the German clothes I bought required line drying, which resulted in clothes that were not too wrinkly. Last week, I discovered scented ironing spray to help wrinkly clothes get ironed “quicker” and nicely fragranced. Hmmm, do I really need this? My US iron has a water reservoir and spray feature so I could put in mineral-heavy water that would get crusty and gunky, OR I could get this nifty scented spray! Could I have found scented ironing spray in Europe? Maybe/probably, but I don’t remember ever seeing it.

10.  Being able to understand just about anything that people around me are saying. Huh? I speak passable German, but there were plenty of times when I didn’t understand what was being said to me or near me while we were in Europe. It’s nice now to not have to worry about “how do I say this?” when going about routine activities. Whew! 

Furious about how kids in U.S. custody are being treated

Children are sleeping on cold cement floors with foil blankets and insufficient adult supervision. I traveled to Texas this month and learned about the abuse of children perpetrated by Americans due to the immigration status of those children. According to the Associated Press, “69,550 migrant children held in U.S. government custody over the past year, enough infants, toddlers, kids and teens to overflow the typical NFL stadium” (November 2019).

 

mural at a shelter in Austin, TX

The same article states approximately 4,000 children are still in custody. I met with a number of professionals working in Texas, including an inspector who confirmed first hand that the situation described by the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2017 is still the case: “egregious conditions … including lack of bedding (e.g., sleeping on cement floors), open toilets, no bathing facilities, constant light exposure, confiscation of belongings, insufficient food and water, and lack of access to legal counsel, and a history of extremely cold temperatures”. Multiple professional workers stated this month that the children in U.S. custody as young as two years old were still being locked in chain-link fence enclosures inside concrete rooms without windows that the children called “dog cages”, with temperatures so cold that they were shivering and sick, calling the rooms “ice boxes”. There is photographic evidence of children sleeping on cement floors with only a foil “blanket”. I am sickened that anyone thinks that it is ok to treat young children like this. No matter what you think about their parents seeking a better life in the United States, young children don’t deserve the horrific conditions they are forced to endure.

 

Rio Grande, TX

Will you join me in saying “no” to little kids growing up behind bars? One way to do this is by signing a petition with Amnesty international at https://act.amnestyusa.org/page/13951/action/1 and https://act.amnestyusa.org/page/44804/action/1?ea.tracking.id=spgcowst (type in your representative’s name and sign your name at the end of the pre-typed letter)

 

near Alvarado, TX

According to Teachers Against Child Detention, “The average length of stay for a child detained by ICE ranges from 100 to 240 days, and these children are often held far from family members and without legal representation. Within the last year, the DHS Office of Inspector General has issued three reports finding poor treatment and spotty oversight in ICE facilities. ICE officials have been arrested for the sexual abuse of children in their care. (Source:  National Immigrant Justice Center, ACLU).” Details are available on their website.

 

Laredo, TX

Rev. Dr. Jay Alanis (one of my professors at Lutheran Seminary Program in the Southwest) asks: “Where does human dignity, justice, solidarity and accompaniment come from?  Part of our national narrative is:  "and liberty and justice for all."   What do the words "for all" mean in the context of our national history and how are these reflected at the border?  What does justice require of the nation and the church for asylum seekers and refugee seekers?   Are they not deserving of human dignity and justice for all?  Lutherans confess that "we are justified by grace through faith."  If so, what are implications of our justification?   Is baptism just "fire insurance," or does it have implications for human relating to the neighbor no matter who that neighbor is?   Or is the neighbor only someone who looks like us?  As a nation we benefit from the cheap labor of immigrants and the cheap prices we get on products because members of the human family are crafting cheap goods for our benefit and consumption.   How can the local church provide sanctuary whether in New York or Texas via the stewardship of our national church budget?  According to MLK Jr, the budget is a moral document."

 

Seminary library, Austin, TX

https://apnews.com/015702afdb4d4fbf85cf5070cd2c6824

https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/early/2017/03/09/peds.2017-0483.full.pdf

https://www.teachersagainstchilddetention.org/facts