What I miss about Germany

Some of my friends were upset when it was time for them to move away from Germany. Due to a few different circumstances, I was ok with leaving when we did- it was nearly 5 years living in Germany. In addition to the reverse culture shock when we got settled in, I am noticing some things that I really miss.

I never took a photo of a good German salad. Instead, this is the library in our new town (USA)!

Salads in German restaurants were nifty! I need to figure out how to get the right flavors and make them at home. Basically, a small pile of several different ingredients were put on the plate like an artist’s palette, with good lettuce (NOT iceberg) and fantastic light yogurt dressing. For example, most restaurants included a small pile of shredded carrots, thinly sliced marinated cucumbers, shredded pickled beets, a small pile of corn, and even a dollop of potato salad as part of a "regular" salad!

What could she POSSIBLY be looking at???

Bread that doesn’t make my stomach gurgle. I heard this from several people- the bread in Europe, even if it is not gluten free, is made so that people with gluten sensitivity can eat it. There were few to no preservatives in the bakery bread, such that if you didn’t finish the loaf in a few days, it would get moldy, even in the fridge. I’ll take the mold as a reminder that this fresh German bread doesn’t have preservatives.

um?

Traffic circles instead of traffic lights save time! I have a billion traffic lights between me and the grocery store (well, 5 or 6, depending on which grocery store), so it’s a good thing I have 80’s on 8 to entertain me while I sit at the traffic lights. It took a bit to get used to all the rotaries in Germany, especially near Ramstein, but they sure get the job done.

thanks for the "help" (?)

Classical music! I have not been able to find a community choir for singing, and I really miss it. I guess I got an overdose of classical choir music for 5 years, but I look forward to singing again. Apparently there are fall rehearsals here for December concerts each year, but no rehearsals over the dark and dreary winter months (just when I need them, despite the snow & icy roads). I will have to be content staying home and warm, listening to CD’s that my previous choirs produced. 

really miss the fields of flowers, to pick and pay, or just to admire their wild growth

I really miss walking along fields and among trees and flowers. Both places we lived in Germany had immediate access to walking paths in nature. There was a short route, a long route, and delicious smells, sights and sounds of plants and animals along the way. I can walk along a paved sidewalk in front of our new house, but we have to drive (or bike?) to get to a more nature-filled walking area.

A week in the life of “stay at home”

Saturday- my husband’s business trip is being cut short due to the imminent pandemic. He’s on his way home through a nearly empty airport. My choir rehearsal still takes place, although I suspect that the concert next month will be cancelled. It’s good to sing together. I pick up groceries on the way home at a place I usually go to once per month or so. No need to make dessert for church tomorrow because the pot luck lunch has been cancelled. I go to the 4pm church service because effective tomorrow there will not be an in-person church service. The communion assistant puts on a medical glove to distribute individual cups. When I see the bright glove over the tray of cups, I start to cry. Communion was never a top priority for me, but today it is. We go out to eat for dinner, not knowing that restaurants will be closed to dine-in customers soon.

 

yoga "before"

Sunday- today is the first time that I am not allowed to go to church because the doors are locked for safety reasons. Many online services are offered, from my former congregation in Massachusetts to the National Cathedral. I go to the gym, not knowing this will be the last time, and to Target, where shelves of canned beans are empty, except the vegetarian baked beans, which is what we eat anyway (but wouldn't normally buy there- went for something else- but got some beans). No toilet paper in sight, but we have enough already. Online school meeting at 9pm to talk about what kinds of support we need. I have an idea, and of course as soon as I say it, someone nominates me to be in charge of implementing it! Thankfully, another student volunteers to help.

warm enough to go outside!

Monday- school for me had been online since last September, so nothing new. Previously scheduled telephone call with a professor at a different university regarding my research project. Their classes are going online, so lots of changes. Went to return library items and the door is locked. School chapel has in the past been broadcast by a stationary camera for off campus students, but now it’s held by Zoom so we can all see each other and offer prayer requests in the chat box. We are muted to prevent background noise, but we are unmuted for the Lord’s prayer. It is amazing to hear each other from so many states away, and see the boxes on zoom highlight people’s faces as they pray.

Tuesday- Bible study is offered by zoom, and we pray together electronically even though we live just a few minutes away from each other. My yoga teacher offers a free Facebook live class, which is wonderful. Another regular school class. Another grocery store I've never been to for just a few things- our pantry and freezer are full but it’s uncertain how many days we might go without being able to leave the house, plus fresh veggies are better than frozen. Another school meeting about how things are changing, which mostly affects students who live on campus. It’s great to have lots of communication, even if the answer sometimes is “we don’t know.” 

 

yoga "after"

Wednesday- school, Chapel, previously scheduled oil change. Should I cancel or keep this appointment? Support a business while it is still open? The waiting room had bad news blaring from the TV, so I walked around the outside of the building and called people on the phone(!), which was nice. Choir is cancelled because the churches where the rehearsals and concerts will be are closed. The gym has also closed, and they are offering Facebook live classes, which I participate in. Good workout for someone like me who could use some strength training.

 

our small village library is open a few extra days but not any more

Thursday- should I keep my haircut appointment? Yes, the situation might get worse so I’ll support this business as long as she’s open. Different grocery store stop en route yields some good finds (no TP, still don’t need it). Online school presentation goes well- I’m used to this. Screen fatigue due to more yoga and gym via computer screen. Veterinarian cancelled the cat’s annual physical and rescheduled for April (she’s purrfectly fine with that).

now I have time to hang art work

Friday- Another phone meeting for my research project, Chapel, and my favorite weekly online journal club. In addition to regular journaling, we have a variety of prompts and also doodling sometimes- it’s really fun! Best ever school dance party via zoom! Well, more fun than being stuck at home! Our cat and someone else’s dog and another cat are featured during the dance party. Hamster dance, y’all!

 

there's a cat between the cover and the futon...

Saturday- the maple festival has been cancelled- no pancake brunch with friends from Syracuse. School hymn sing by zoom- not as good as in person, but pretty great!

What I’m learning in school this semester

Sooo, what’s new in school-land? Here is a photo of my textbooks. I was also supposed to buy a Bible “commentary”, but I didn’t because I have access to a bunch of different commentaries for free through the school library. Last semester I read parts of a different commentary every week for my course on “Minor Prophets”, which was interesting- both the class and seeing the different commentaries. My favorite at the time was a commentary about women in the Bible. 3 commentaries into the new semester, and I like Charles Swindoll’s style the best of those 3.

My fancy vocabulary is increasing exponentially, but I’d still rather talk and write “normal”. My favorite new word is “polyvalence”, which does not mean that I have a lot of curtains (although I do). It means that when each person reads the Bible they can understand it in a different way based on their own life experience and perspective. That is refreshing to hear!

Next, I recommend the book “Sacred Pauses” by April Yamasaki. I’ve read several books about trying to lower the amount of craziness and running around in our lives. This text approaches quiet time with respect, rather than mocking it according to our historical “Puritan work ethic”. Working hard is fine, but you don’t have to prove your value by being busy all of the time. I look forward to reading a chapter or two each week throughout the semester.

Our new house has built in bookcases!

I am writing a paper about something that I first learned at Simmons College (now University) in Boston. Research has shown that teachers may not realize how they call on boys more often than girls in classrooms. Attending a women’s college allowed space for women to be leaders, to answer ALL questions in the classroom, and to not worry about what boys/men/boyfriends/ex-boyfriends, etc. thought about what they were saying. There were plenty of opportunities for friendships and dating relationships in Boston, and the classroom was reserved for women’s academic advancement. My question now is: do women have stronger faith development experiences in single-gender Bible studies?

Finally, a course on faith development and discipleship. We’ve already finished a book by Austin Channing Brown, “I’m Still Here”, which I also highly recommend. More interesting books are on the syllabus for the spring semester. As always, holler if you have comments or questions!

Yesses and nos from our move back to the US

Blah, blah, blah! :) 

1.     No, you cannot stay in the same hotel as when you arrived in Stuttgart with your 3 cats, now you can only have 2 cats in the hotel. Weeellll, you could ask for an exception to policy over in this other building and they might say yes to the same 3 cats as before. You will have to go to that other building and talk to some other people to get a letter signed by the commander. Good luck with that.

Stuttgart hotel on the way out

2.     No, you cannot pick up your rental car because the building is closed, even though the website says it was supposed to be open. We don’t care that you did a lot of research in order to find the correct vehicle (van for your move) at a location and time that works. You can surely rent another vehicle at a different location that is open now, and you will pay more than double the original reservation rate because this is last minute. It is NOT the fault of the rental company that the location closed early.

Got new pads for the insides of the cat carriers, and someone went in voluntarily!

3.     Yes, you can take one of your cats in the airplane cabin with you. No, you cannot pay the fee for the cats ahead of time, you can only do that at the airport immediately before the flight. It doesn’t matter that the cats have to be in their cages more than 3 hours before the 6 hour flight because of this payment rule. No, you cannot pay for all 3 cats in the same airport location. You can pay for the 2 going in the cargo hold in one spot, then you can go somewhere else in the airport to pay for the one in the cabin with you. Then you can bring that receipt back to the cargo section. What, you want this to be convenient?

4.     YES, you can sell BOTH your cars QUICKLY for a fair asking price by placing them on the lemon lot for a $30 fee- you've got the spot on the lemon lot for 2 weeks. NOOOO, you cannot put the second car in the first car’s spot after the first car sells within 48 hours. You have to pay a second $30 fee. Ha ha. At least your cars sold quickly and without problems. Be grateful and don’t complain.

5.     No, the new dentist’s office cannot open the thumb drive with your dental records from Germany. Yes, it was a clever idea but our computers are not compatible. Bring us your x-rays by e-mail or get new x-rays.

6.     NOOOOO, your new vehicle will not be ready as promised, even though you ordered it way ahead of time from Germany. You are just going to have to drive a rental car for weeks on end. Weeeellllll, we can look around for an old car to loan you for a week, then you are on your own. Weeeeellllll, maybe you can keep the old loaner for a bit longer during the delay. OOOOOPS, your new car did not have all the features and benefits that you thought you ordered. 

I approve of this windowsill at Hanscom, MA

7.     NO, we cannot tell you when your furniture will arrive. It is irrelevant that your furniture has been in the port of Baltimore for over a week, we still cannot tell you when you will get it. Your mandatory delivery date is 2 months after everything was picked up. We realize you have been living in an empty house, but you will get your stuff when you get it, with very little advance notice. Just sit tight (on the floor).

We like to wrestle, all the better if it leaves lots of dark hair on the light carpet

8.     Yes, your SIM card from the US will work the minute you land in Boston – YAY!

9.     Yes, your ATM card and credit card will work so you can buy food and cat litter – YAY!

10.  Yes, the military hotel in Massachusetts can accommodate all 3 cats just like they did when you moved away in 2015 – YAY! See windowsill photo above & another in the post from 2015 (linked in previous sentence).

Wildlife around here

This post is written by Sidney and Ida, the cats of Brownville, NY! Well, we made it over ok from Germany. Please don’t ever make us get into a plane again! Sebastian did ok, too, but he went to cat heaven before Christmas. We miss him - he was 19 years old, so it’s ok.

There are lots of new and unusual pawprints in the snow around our house. We didn’t get too much snow in Germany and definitely not so many wild animals (besides us). A couple of weeks ago, this guy/gal was hanging out next to our shed. 

I went hoarse (again)- this is Sidney- after chittering at this bunch in the neighbor’s yard! I laughed as they chased the crows, squirrels and jays near the feeders and around the trees! Then I laughed as they ran up the slight hill behind our house, and then back down the hill to rejoin their friends.

Next, here is someone walking along our closed garage door:

Human grandpa says it’s a fisher. Then, the herd was back, and this time they crossed the street, but nobody knows why. We have at least 4 huge blue jays, several active squirrels, and other smaller birds that hang around. 

I miss the huge windows in Germany (this is Ida). I used to be able to look straight out into the back yard from the bed where we lived before here. I don’t look out the windows so much any more, but I LOOOOOOVE rolling around on these wall to wall shag carpets! What’s up with that? They have to vacuum all the time – ha ha. I also like the fireplace, even though it’s gas. Nice and cozy.

me playing with a stuffed mouse from Dubuque! good thing our most important cat toys were on the plane with us!

Reverse Culture Shock

Upon returning to the US after living in Germany for just under 5 years, I knew that I might have a hard time dealing with some of the differences in lifestyle/what is considered “normal”. Here are my top 10 so far:

1.     The most important shock I knew I’d LOVE is the GIGANTIC parking spaces in the US. People, you have no idea how luxurious it is to get out of your car and not have to squeeze past the door of your own small car in order to not hit the car next door or a pillar in a parking garage. Whee! That said, we are pretty wasteful with our massive US cars! But the comfort and joy of parking spots is tremendous.

Ours is the middle vehicle. When I parked there were NO OTHER cars nearby. This is what I saw when I came out of the store in Syracuse, NY!!!!! I honestly thought: "am I on candid camera?" 

2.     “Rats, I forgot to go to the pet food store” on a Sunday afternoon...until I realized that I COULD GO IF I WANTED TO! I got used to not being able to shop at all on Sundays, which is usually a good thing in Germany. Workers have more rights in Europe, so it’s a shock to see nearly every store open here on Sundays.

3.     We can really get things done quickly here sometimes. Our internet seemed fine on our phones, but I was not able to livestream my classes in our new house, so we had to get connectivity quickly. I don’t know who he talked with or how much it cost (burying head in snow instead of sand), but when I threatened to quit school because I couldn’t get anything done online, we had 100% internet the next day. It took weeks in Germany to get cable/internet at home after we ordered it.

4.     I don’t like how a lot of food tastes here. I am trying new grocery stores, restaurants, and even the ubiquitous gas station shops and have found a wide range of quality and flavor available. Not that I loved all the food in Europe, but quality here seems to be more of the “quantity” variety- I don’t need huge portions of so-so food.

Grocery store pre-cooked food is pretty good in the USA!

5.     I had really been looking forward to having mail delivered to our house- that is something I really missed in Germany (military folks have a P.O. box on base/post near where the military member works, and the benefit is that only U.S. postage is required even to send something to Europe). However, we managed to pick one house – out of the 13 looked at- that does not have home delivery. Our village has a Post Office and everyone has a P.O. box.

not at our house, but a good idea!

6.     How many kinds of Charmin toilet paper are there? More than one, I tell you. When I worked as a MFLC (Military & Family Life Consultant), I gave post-deployment briefings where one of the things mentioned was reverse culture shock. I heard from military members that they would look in the cereal aisle with amazement after deployment because there are so many choices. This is what I felt like in the toilet paper aisle. We were told by our land lady in Germany that we could not use American toilet paper because it would clog the drains, so we used the OK German kind. I was really looking forward the Charmin. So I bought some here and was happy as a clam (why are clams happy?). Then I bought another package but it was not the same as the first kind- it was an inferior quality knock off. Huh? Then I saw a coupon in the newspaper that had yet another kind of Charmin- gah! I now learned how to tell which color background on the Charmin package is the "right one" for me!

view from our rest room recently

7.     Short church services. “What?”, you say? I have pretty much always experienced a one-hour church service, with occasionally longer for special events, etc. Is it a northern NY thing to have 3 different services run between 40-50 minutes including communion? I have been in Bible studies for the past 5 years that are 1.5 hours long (and we have to stop the discussion, it could go on)!

8.     Good customer service. Not 100% here, but better than for the last 5 years. We were comparison shopping for home appliances and one store didn’t offer a 10% military discount but said if we opened a store card then we would get 10% back in store credit. A nearby store that does offer a military discount said that their appliances were already discounted 10% and they could not give a double discount. When I stated the other store’s 10% reduction on the same price, the second store said the manager would meet the first store’s price. Interesting!

peeps still in Europe will especially appreciate magnets on a magnetic surface!

9.     Finding stuff I did not know I needed. True confessions, I did not iron anything for 5 years. I had a nice laundry area in our Massachusetts basement, and I ironed every week for nearly an hour. I got a German iron from an American who was moving away when we arrived in Germany, and I just never used it. Most of the German clothes I bought required line drying, which resulted in clothes that were not too wrinkly. Last week, I discovered scented ironing spray to help wrinkly clothes get ironed “quicker” and nicely fragranced. Hmmm, do I really need this? My US iron has a water reservoir and spray feature so I could put in mineral-heavy water that would get crusty and gunky, OR I could get this nifty scented spray! Could I have found scented ironing spray in Europe? Maybe/probably, but I don’t remember ever seeing it.

10.  Being able to understand just about anything that people around me are saying. Huh? I speak passable German, but there were plenty of times when I didn’t understand what was being said to me or near me while we were in Europe. It’s nice now to not have to worry about “how do I say this?” when going about routine activities. Whew! 

Furious about how kids in U.S. custody are being treated

Children are sleeping on cold cement floors with foil blankets and insufficient adult supervision. I traveled to Texas this month and learned about the abuse of children perpetrated by Americans due to the immigration status of those children. According to the Associated Press, “69,550 migrant children held in U.S. government custody over the past year, enough infants, toddlers, kids and teens to overflow the typical NFL stadium” (November 2019).

 

mural at a shelter in Austin, TX

The same article states approximately 4,000 children are still in custody. I met with a number of professionals working in Texas, including an inspector who confirmed first hand that the situation described by the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2017 is still the case: “egregious conditions … including lack of bedding (e.g., sleeping on cement floors), open toilets, no bathing facilities, constant light exposure, confiscation of belongings, insufficient food and water, and lack of access to legal counsel, and a history of extremely cold temperatures”. Multiple professional workers stated this month that the children in U.S. custody as young as two years old were still being locked in chain-link fence enclosures inside concrete rooms without windows that the children called “dog cages”, with temperatures so cold that they were shivering and sick, calling the rooms “ice boxes”. There is photographic evidence of children sleeping on cement floors with only a foil “blanket”. I am sickened that anyone thinks that it is ok to treat young children like this. No matter what you think about their parents seeking a better life in the United States, young children don’t deserve the horrific conditions they are forced to endure.

 

Rio Grande, TX

Will you join me in saying “no” to little kids growing up behind bars? One way to do this is by signing a petition with Amnesty international at https://act.amnestyusa.org/page/13951/action/1 and https://act.amnestyusa.org/page/44804/action/1?ea.tracking.id=spgcowst (type in your representative’s name and sign your name at the end of the pre-typed letter)

 

near Alvarado, TX

According to Teachers Against Child Detention, “The average length of stay for a child detained by ICE ranges from 100 to 240 days, and these children are often held far from family members and without legal representation. Within the last year, the DHS Office of Inspector General has issued three reports finding poor treatment and spotty oversight in ICE facilities. ICE officials have been arrested for the sexual abuse of children in their care. (Source:  National Immigrant Justice Center, ACLU).” Details are available on their website.

 

Laredo, TX

Rev. Dr. Jay Alanis (one of my professors at Lutheran Seminary Program in the Southwest) asks: “Where does human dignity, justice, solidarity and accompaniment come from?  Part of our national narrative is:  "and liberty and justice for all."   What do the words "for all" mean in the context of our national history and how are these reflected at the border?  What does justice require of the nation and the church for asylum seekers and refugee seekers?   Are they not deserving of human dignity and justice for all?  Lutherans confess that "we are justified by grace through faith."  If so, what are implications of our justification?   Is baptism just "fire insurance," or does it have implications for human relating to the neighbor no matter who that neighbor is?   Or is the neighbor only someone who looks like us?  As a nation we benefit from the cheap labor of immigrants and the cheap prices we get on products because members of the human family are crafting cheap goods for our benefit and consumption.   How can the local church provide sanctuary whether in New York or Texas via the stewardship of our national church budget?  According to MLK Jr, the budget is a moral document."

 

Seminary library, Austin, TX

https://apnews.com/015702afdb4d4fbf85cf5070cd2c6824

https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/early/2017/03/09/peds.2017-0483.full.pdf

https://www.teachersagainstchilddetention.org/facts